


Coincide

by SundayZenith



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (minor) - Freeform, Bad Parent Chuck Shurley, Castiel is Claire Novak's Parent, Castiel is Saved from the Empty (Supernatural), Chuck Shurley is Castiel's Parent, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, F/M, Fix It, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt/Comfort, Jack Kline and Claire Novak are Siblings, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Temporary Character Death, Vignette, Vignette Collection, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, carry on never happened, referenced other characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28213776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SundayZenith/pseuds/SundayZenith
Summary: "Dean puts his hand over the bloody handprint Cas left on his shirt, and he doesn’t need to imagine what he’ll do if this doesn’t work, because he knows the answer: he’ll live. He has to, for what Cas did for him.But dammit, he wants Cas by his side as he lives his life."A series of connected, non-linear vignettes, before, during, and after Dean saves Cas from the Empty.
Relationships: (Minor), Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Jack Kline & Claire Novak, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak
Comments: 10
Kudos: 74





	Coincide

**Author's Note:**

> You know what? Fuck you (unburies your gays).
> 
> I randomly generated a bunch of words and used those as inspiration for each vignette. Some words might make more sense that others, but like, lol I don't even go here, so whatever

_ Node _

Dean runs a hand over the sleeve of his shirt, his back against the Impala door and eyes trained in the general direction of the barn. He doesn’t really see the rundown and rotten wood of the walls, or the sky behind it, or anything really. 

It was Jack’s idea that they try this here, where Dean saw Cas for the first time. Something to do with that “Profound Bond” they shared —  _ share _ .

He isn’t going to overthink this, isn’t going to let himself imagine what he might do if this spell — this  _ final _ spell, because he’s tired, he’s done with this magical potentially world ending bullshit, maybe with this entire life he’s leading — doesn’t work. If they don’t get Cas back.

Instead, he thinks of Cas’s hand on his shoulder, steading, shaking, burning, bleeding. Pulling him from hell. Pushing him out of the way.

Dean puts his hand over the bloody handprint Cas left on his shirt, and he doesn’t need to imagine what he’ll do if this doesn’t work, because he knows the answer: he’ll live. He has to, for what Cas did for him.

But dammit, he wants Cas by his side as he lives his life. 

Sam and Jack are waiting off to the side, supplies and spell ingredients in hand, pre-packed before they left the bunker (Others, like Eileen and Claire, had wanted to come with, protested loudly that they should be there, but Dean doesn’t think he can handle an audience right now).

Dean grips his shoulder, imagines gripping Cas’s hand and never letting the stupid, wonderful, self-sacrificing dumbass go again. Then he drops his hand and steps away from the car.

  
  


_ Respect _

Castiel has always been fascinated by humans, ever since he first watched that fish crawl onto land.

For all their flaws and sins, there’s beauty and strength. They continue to confound him, have left him feeling exhausted even when he wasn’t capable of being exhausted, have hurt him in many, many ways, but he does not regret for a second falling for them.

He has always been fascinated by humans, but Dean Winchester made him truly love them, and for that he is grateful. 

Their defiance, their doubts, their imperfections, their perseverance, their free will — to call it simply admirable would be the biggest understatement of Castiel’s very long existence. To be human was to be something truly magnificent.

And now, Graceless for good this time, Cas is going to spend the rest of his life as one. 

For all the inconveniences that come with being human (restrooms will forever remain the bane of his existence, right after the need to sleep when staying awake would be more productive and convenient), there were millions of little things that made being human so wonderful — being able to appreciate the taste of foods without it getting lost in all the molecules that make it up, the satisfying burn in his muscles after a run with Miracle, even the always surprising new depths his emotions take, positive or negative.

Even now, the instinctual disgust that comes with touching soggy food when handling dirty dishes is something he finds himself basking in. In the past, he might have simply miracled them clean, or left them dirty without thinking about it, or wouldn’t have noticed or appreciated the unpleasant textures.

Sam is helping him with drying the dishes, with Dean and Eileen relaxing in the living room since they did most of the cooking.

Dean is sharing embarrassing stories about Sam’s early hunts, loud enough that Sam can hear him doing so from the kitchen. When Sam had left his station by the sink to protest this, both Dean and Eileen shooed him off, claiming “necessary in-law bonding,” “but don’t worry, we’ll save the embarrassing baby stories for Thanksgiving.” 

Sam, for his part, has gracefully accepted his wife and brother’s antics (though not without throwing one of his “bitch-faces” over his shoulder at the kitchen door every few moments).

Cas hands off another glass for Sam to dry. Next time Cas and Dean visit, this most likely won’t be necessary — Eileen and Sam’s new home is a bit of a “fixer upper,” apparently, and replacing the dishwasher was low on their list of priorities, especially since they’re also finalizing their wedding plans.

“I swear, if Eileen and I have a kid, we’re stopping after one,” Sam mutters darly, towling the glass, after Dean says something about how Sam once almost revealed the existence of monsters to his elementary school teacher when the teacher noticed he could read just as well in Latin as he could in English.

“Dean is only trying to embarrass you because he wants to be supportive without getting emotional or instigating a ‘chick-flick moment,’” Cas says bluntly.

Sam sighs from beside him, “Yeah, I know.”

Sam and Eileen’s recent departure from the bunker wasn’t the first time the brothers’ had lived apart, Cas knew, but there was a sense of finality in this move, even if only a slight one.

After a moment, Sam says, “He’s always gonna be a part of my life, even if we aren’t living together.” That was why Eileen and Sam moved into the house they did — it was less than an hour’s drive from the bunker. The four still went on hunts together, and at least once a week they would have a “family dinner” at either the bunker or Sam’s house.

“I’m sure he knows that. He’s just…”

“Adjusting,” Sam finishes. Then, softer, he adds, “I am, too.”

“I presume you’ll both hold off on sharing that detail until the next time one of us nearly dies or the just before the wedding ceremony, whichever comes first.”

That gets a laugh out of Sam, and Cas smiles to himself.

“I’ll try to get him to talk, though I might need you to hold him down so he doesn’t bolt.”

“He has been getting better at accepting ‘chick-flick moments,’” Cas adds, softly, scrubbing the last plate before handing it to Sam. Dean deserves some acknowledgment for how far he’s come, emotionally, after all.

“Thanks to you.” Sam takes the plate from Cas and dries it in silence. Then he pauses, before turning fully to Cas. “You know you’ll always be part of my life, too, right? You really are like a brother to me. Maybe more than Dean was.”

Cas turns sharply to Sam in surprise, mouth already open to defend Dean (if he had been holding a dish, he probably would have dropped it). Sam holds his hands up in defense and says, “Dean practically  _ raised me, _ Cas. He’s the one that took care of me when I was sick, the one that made sure I had food as a kid, the one who tucked me in and dressed me and cared for me when we were growing up. When Eileen and I have our own kids, he’ll probably be the one I turn to for dad advice.

“You, meanwhile, are my stubborn, infuriating best friend who I trust to have my back when I need it. Like Dean, yeah, but less… overprotective, you know?”

Cas thinks suddenly of Balthazar and Gabriel, Hannah and Samandriel, of his siblings that were, for the most part, his allies, the ones that he could trust and who trusted him (even if that trust was justifiably limited or ultimately betrayed in the end). The loss of his powers and angelic senses, he has learned to cope with in the past. 

His “Angel radio,” being able to sense his siblings with his Grace, fighting and even joking beside them, well, he lost those long before he lost his Grace completely, but in moments like this, he felt that loss acutely.

Ironically, perhaps, he’s able to actually appreciate that loss more so as a human than as an Angel.

Swallowing around this, Cas says, “Thank you, Sam.” Then he pauses, “Is there any reason you’re telling me this now?”

There were certain conversations, Cas had learned over the years, that generally didn’t take place while tending to dirty dishes.

“Why not now?” Sam asks. At Cas’s look, he finally says, “Eileen and I are still trying to figure out if we should even have kids. I mean, if we do, we’ll have to stop hunting for a while — maybe forever, but, Cas, you know this life isn’t an easy one to leave. Mom tried to keep Dean and me out of it, and yet…” Sam gestured vaguely around him. “I love Jack, I do, but if he had been an actual baby, instead of being born fully grown, who knows? Maybe he wouldn’t even have had any part of the hunter life.

“It's just… its a lot of big choices that affect a lot of things going forward, and I wanted you both to know that- that no matter what, you guys won’t have to worry about your place in our lives.”

_ Big choices, _ Cas’s mind echos. Mutely, he pulls Sam into a (slightly damp) hug that Sam gladly reciprocates.

There’s an anxious excitement, a paradoxical powerlessness and sense of control, that comes with the thought of those words. It’s very human in its confused combination, and Cas thinks, not for the first time, of the engagement ring Sam had shown him and Dean months ago before proposing to Eileen, and is so, so glad he has the ability to make big choices himself.

  
  


_ Distance _

Eileen was waiting for them in the bunker. She practically throws herself at Sam and they’re both hugging and laughing and Sam is signing clumsily when he trips over his words to often for Eileen to read and Eileen still can’t keep up because the thought that it's over, that Chuck’s no longer going to be playing with their lives, is to much, too good to believe and they’re holding each other.

And Dean is happy for them.

His brother deserves all the happiness in the world. And Sammy being happy makes Dean happy.

Dean is happy. He is. He has Miracle, he, Sam, and Jack took down _ God  _ and took control of their lives, and right now his phone is blowing up with notifications from nearly all his other loved ones as they check in to see what the hell just happened. 

Cas wanted him to be happy, thought he deserves happiness. And it's the past tense by Cas’s name that makes him ache. 

Eileen is asking and Jack and Cas, and Dean knows he shouldn’t do anything stupid or self-destructive because that would be spitting in the face of Cas’s memory, but Cas shouldn’t just be a damn memory.

So he goes to the nearest table and just sits. Let’s Sammy take the lead right now. Watches Sammy and Eileen.

Miracle rests her head in his lap. Dean grounds himself in her fur.

  
  


_ Distinct _

Castiel, the Angel of Thursday. That’s all he was supposed to be — another of God’s soldiers, fighting alongside his siblings, sticking to his garrison, taking orders and being a good little hammer. 

“Why are you here?”

“I’m about to raise your ass from perdition.”

Castiel, the  _ self-hating _ Angel of Thursday. The one who questioned and doubted and broke everything he touched. There were times where his siblings saw him as little better than Lucifer, times where they thought he was worse than Lucifer. Times he thought that himself.

Maybe the Empty was the best place for him — he couldn’t make any more mistakes, didn’t have to lie and hide, when he was nothing.

“How?”

“Let’s just say that good things do actually happen.”

As long as humanity was safe. As long as his friends, his true family, were safe.

But, among the list of things Cas wasn’t very good at,  _ staying dead _ rivaled  _ taking orders _ and  _ not falling repeatedly and in every way imaginable for beautiful idiots named Dean Winchester _ at the top.

“But,  _ why-? _ ”

“I don’t- Cas, you know how I am with words. Just- if someone like me is worth saving, so are you, a thousand times over.”

  
  


_ Explicit _

Dean and Cas exit the Impala, each holding a dish of pre-prepared food because Sam and Eileen are probably dead on their feet with their new baby, Robert Dean Winchester (and, yes, maybe Dean still got a little misty eyed at the name, but only a little. When Sammy, jokingly, said they seriously considered calling the kid “Destiel” in both his and Cas’s honor, Dean refused to show any appreciation to his brother).

Robbie, born less than a month ago, is a pretty darn well behaved, considering he needed to eat basically every other hour and slept the rest of the time (Dean once overheard Sam singing “Hey Jude” in the background when they were facetiming Eileen the other day, and, yeah, he definitely got a little more than misty eyed at that).

Still, any baby, well behaved or not, is exhausting, so he isn’t surprised when they don’t notice anything different about him and Cas, even though all of them are trying to sign while they talk.

Part of Dean is annoyed they don’t notice. The older brother in him wants to see how long it takes Sam to notice, just so he can use that against him for the next several decades they’re alive for. The rest of him wants to scream his love for Cas from the mountains and rub it in the face of every monster, Demon, dickbag Angel, asshole cosmic entity, and the rest of the universe.

Finally, after listening to Sam talk about this summer camp for CODAs he plans on sending Robbie to one day, even though, again, the kid can’t even roll onto his stomach yet, Dean takes Cas’s hand and holds up their matching rings.

Eileen’s already hugging them by the time it takes Sam to pick his eyes off the floor when they popped out his head.

“Don’t worry,” Cas says, grinning big enough that his nose crinkles and his gums are on display, and Dean can’t resist kissing his cheek (so he’s turned into a soft sap with age. Whatever, he’s still the coolest person in the room, and happier than Cooler Dean was anyway). “We didn’t go to Vegas yet. We want you to be there when we get married.”

“Also we haven’t gotten around to making fake documents to clear our heads or prove Cas is a real person yet,” Dean adds, because he wants to be clear he wants this on paper. No, he doesn’t need the friggin government to know any of his business, but the thought of having a marriage license to show off is surprisingly appealing.

  
  


_ Behave _

“We had a deal,” the Empty said, pinching his brow like he has a headache coming on. Dean can’t see very well, since save for him, Cas, and the asshole wearing Cas’s face, there doesn’t actually seem to be anything to see here. “I want to be  _ asleep _ right now, not dealing with your  _ grating voices. _ ”

“You want us gone? Great, so’d we. If would just point us to an exit.”

“Ugh, gladly. For you, though, human.  _ He, _ ” the Empty jabs a finger in Cas’s direction, “is my little toy, in case you two disgusting love birds forgot.”

The Empty moves his finger towards Dean, and he braces himself to be thrown back. Instead, Cas steps in front of him. “Humans don’t belong in the Empty,” he says.

“Yes, thank you for catching us all up on what we already know,” the Empty rolls his eyes. At least, Dean is pretty sure the Empty rolled his eyes -- again, kinda hard to tell when basically everything more than two feet away from him might as well not exist. Or  _ not _ not exist. However this place works, not that it matters because he’s come this far and he is not letting Cas pull another round of Let's Sacrifice Ourselves For Dean Winchester While He Watches. 

Either way, Dean would very much like to gank the Empty’s condescending ass right now, because as dumb as Cas can be, the guy isn’t stupid, and at this point the last thing he needs is another person treating him like he is.

“Cas,” Dean keeps his voice steady because if he has to have a chick flick-y, heart bared to the world moment, he isn’t going to have it in front of a random cosmic entity with a bad oil rig accent. 

Cas ignores him, of course. “Please, just let me have one moment alone, and I promise you — there will be no more humans here.”

Like Dean isn’t fully prepared to come back here as many times as he needs to to get Cas out. He isn’t leaving his Angel here. Not after he’s come this far.

“Fine.  _ Fine,  _ whatever, just looking at you is giving me a headache. Make it quick. I want to go back to sleep already.”

The Empty takes a step back and disappears. Cas turns to Dean and Dean almost wants to run in the other direction, to postpone this, because  _ he can’t listen to Cas tell him he loves him then say goodbye on the same breath again, he can’t lose Cas again, he can’t- _

Cas brings his hand up, lightly touches the handprint on his shirt, and Dean realises he’s been rambling when he feels his throat tighten.

Dean forces himself to suck in a breath, and he takes Cas’s hand. “Cas. Cas, seriously,  _ please- _ ”

“Dean,” Cas’s voice is resolute, as if he’s made up his mind. To bad, Dean thinks, because Cas deserves better than this shit-

Cas squeezes his hand, gives him that watery, lopsided smile that’s haunted Dean’s nightmares, and says, “Tell me you brought an Angel Blade. And a container of some kind — a flask will do.”

  
  


_ Implication _

“W-wait. Wait, hold-hold on,” Dean’s bent over, clutching his aching sides and struggling to catch his breath.

Cas is not impressed. He gives Dean a bitch-face that would rival Sam’s. Dean just laughs harder.

“S-so, you’re telling me-”

“Dean.”

“This entire time- literally! This entire time!”

“ _ Dean. _ ”

“You’ve had a crush on me?!”

“We are ‘literally’-,” Cas’s use of air quotes has Dean bent over in laughter again, “-hours away from getting married. Why does it matter how long I’ve had a ‘crush’-”

“You, a badass Angel of the Lord, had an actual crush! Like little kids on a playground, pulling each other’s pigtails and chasing each other with daisies while blushing kind of crush!”

Cas rolls his eyes, though Dean doesn’t miss the tell-tale blush rising on his face. “There were never any daisies involved and you know it.”

Dean straightens himself as much as he can with his sides still aching from laughter. He rests his hand on the small of Cas’s back and lets himself lean against the former Angel. He doesn’t miss the way that Cas leans back into him, but he also sees that Cas is still sporting a Grade-A bitch-face. “Sorry, sorry, it’s just… wedding’s getting to me.” If Dean had it his way, he and Cas would hop down to Vagas. Not have an actual wedding like Sam and Eileen’s a year ago. 

Granted, this was as close to a backyard barbecue as a wedding could be and still be recognized as a wedding to an uninformed by-stander. Dean’s man enough to admit that the thought of him of all people having an actual wedding kinda makes him giddy (not that he’d use the word “giddy.” Sammy can go on about unlearning all the toxic masculinity their dad instilled in them, Dean especially, all he wants, and Dean is willing to listen, but he’s pretty sure not using words like “giddy” in context of himself won’t negatively impact his mental health and happiness).

Cas is giving him a lopsided smile that Dean doubts he’ll even get enough of, even with how freely Cas smiles these days, and Dean knows that he would have go through the whole wedding shabang, rented venue and designer tuxes and stupidly expensive cakes and whatever else weddings have (Sam and Eileen’s wedding, charming and very much a  _ wedding _ -wedding, was still a lot closer to Dean’s borderline DIY backyard affair that whatever someone might see on reality TV. Granted, reality TV isn’t very realistic, so who knows what a normal wedding looks like).

“It’s just hard to believe, you know,” Dean goes on. “A literal freaking Angel, with a schoolboy crush.”

“Well, with a soul as beautiful as yours, how could I not immediately fall.”

Dean pulls back slightly to gauge Cas’s face. Cas is still giving him a soft smile.

“You first saw my soul in hell, buddy.” And that’s the most confusing part. The fact that a clueless Angel went around infatuated with a human was kinda hilarious in how improbable it sounds, but the thought that an Angel could fall for someone free from forty years torturing souls in hell? 

Dean knows he’s not the ones with the brains in this family, but you don’t need brains to know how impossible that would be.

But Cas just gives him another smile and says, “It was still yours, Dean Winchester. It was still  _ you _ .”

_ Mother _

“You’ve been wearing ties for how many years again? Fifteen? How can you still be this hopeless?” Claire asks, taking Cas’s tie in hand and retying it herself.

“I like how his tie usually looks,” Jack says. Claire looks at them both and rolls her eyes.

“Thanks just because you don’t know how to tie your own tie, bitch.”

“Jerk.”

After Sam collected Dean so they could both get dressed separately, Claire and Jack decided to pop into Cas’s room, to make sure he didn’t get cold feet and fly off, Clair said.

Cas was pretty sure they were just here to keep him company. He and Dean would walk down the aisle together, but he had to admit it was nice to have someone accompany him to that point. He’s also very glad to see how well Claire and Jack get along, with Claire more or less embracing the Nephilim as a younger brother.

The two have even hunted together on occasion, when Jack visits from Heaven and decides to hunt, “for old times sake.” Dean and Cas don’t do much hunting these days. Neither does Sam, since he and Eileen have a toddler to look after these days.

“If I need a straight tie, Dean usually will fix it for me,” Cas says. He likes it when Dean fixes his tie for him. It's sweetly affectionate.

“How grossly domestic,” Claire says, which, Cas thinks, is also a fitting word. She rolls her eyes as she says it, but he can tell its with fondness.

“Aren’t you and Kaia also domestic?” Jack asks. The two recently found an apartment a little more than an hour away from Jody’s and were in the process of moving in together. Cas suspects, for all the cynicism and hurt Claire still carries, she might also be considering proposing to Kaia. She certainly seemed interested in their rings (plain steel, the same rings they wore during their engagement. Sam’s currently holding onto them until the ceremony, and Cas has to admit he misses the weight of his on his finger).

“Kaia doesn’t need me to keep her from looking like she jumped in a freaking hedge.”

“Kaia isn’t the one that looks like she jumps in a hedge, though.”

“Nobody asked you.” Claire steps back and looks at her handiwork with a proud nod. A distant look overtakes her eyes for a moment, and she says softly, “My mom used to help my dad with his ties, too.” She looks more nostalgic than sad, but she’s never been comfortable with letting herself just be sad.

Cas, not for the first time, thinks about what it might have been like if he and Dean had gotten together sooner, had stepped back into her life sooner, if they might have been able to give her a home themselves.

Its wistful thinking — even if he and Dean had “gotten their heads outta their asses sooner” (as Sam once said after they announced their engagement while bemoaning having been “a third wheel for twelve years, you guys, the amount of yearning I had to put up with-”) — they hadn’t had many chances to just relax and raise children without putting them in danger. Still, now that he and Dean were semi-retired, maybe — if Claire and Jack were comfortable with a new sibling/cousin/whatever they wanted to be to any of his and Dean’s potential other children — adoption might be on the table. Still, the thought of a teenage Claire and a resurrected Mary interacting in an amusing one. 

Maybe Cas would be able to introduce them — as a surprise for Dean, Sam, and Cas, Jack had temporarily brought the souls of their lost loved ones down from heaven for a few days. He had done the same for Sam’s wedding a few years earlier, though Claire hadn’t been able to stay very long, stopping by on her way to a hunt. Cas imagines they would get along well. Or they wouldn’t at all. Claire would likely be spending the majority of the ceremony with Amelia and Jimmy (it was odd, interacting with the soul that his vessel — his body, now — used to belong to, but Jimmy isn’t holding a grudge. Cas has to admit, though he wasn’t as connected to his vessel as other Angels, he had missed Jimmy in a way, had felt the absence of Jimmy when he was still an Angel), so hopefully she’ll be civil anyway, for their sake.

Right now, Mary and Bobby were probably with Sam and Dean, perhaps John Winchester was with them as well.

Cas’s phone rings, bringing him back to the present. He doesn’t know the number, but he can always hang up if it's someone he doesn’t recognize.

“Oh, uh. Hey, Castiel.”

Cas freezes. He definitely recognizes this voice. Cas steps into the hallway, not really hearing Claire and Jack’s questions and protests.

_ Father? _ “Chuck?”

  
  


_Circulation_

Dean finds himself looking out over a lake near the bunker. Jack and Claire had whisked Cas away to play wedding party, and he knows Sam is probably moments away from dragging him back inside to do the same.

Honestly? He’s kinda looking forward to it. Young Dean Winchester would probably think this was all some sorta trick and spend the entire day looking for a monster to gank before believing this is real.

When he hears footsteps behind him, he turns to see Bobby, rather than Sam.

Bobby, looking slightly out of place in his formal suit (Dean had almost insisted that guests at least be allowed to wear flannel before realizing he’d feel less dorky about this entire thing if he and Cas weren’t the only ones in the room done up in suits), holds up a couple beers.

Not exactly what you’d expect from a pre-wedding toast, but that just moves Dean more than any fancy champagne ever would. He accepts a beer, opens it, and they stand together in silence.

Eventually, Bobby says, “You look good, son.”

Dean lets himself smile. “Yeah. I feel good.”

Bobby hums at that. They sip their beers before he speaks again, “It's what you deserve. Not gonna run off like some kinda idjit, are ya?”

“Nah. Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Good, cause I’d drag your ass back here myself if you tried.” Another beat, another few sips, and Bobby asks, “What are you gonna do after this?”

Dean smiles again, takes another swig, and turns to head back. “I think Cas and I are gonna go for a drive.”

  
  


_ Particle _

They leave Cas’s Grace behind. After Cas took the Angel Blade and cut it from his throat, Dean chucked the flask holding it at the now very pissed Empty. The Empty spit them both out, complaining about how he’ll be dealing with the migraine they give him for the rest of eternity.

Whatever, Jack could try smoothing things out with the Empty later. If, and only if, the kid wanted to. In Dean's opinion, the Empty could shove it.

Now, Dean finds himself kneeling on the ground of a dirty old barn, an unconscious, bleeding Cas in his arms. 

Cas is alive. It doesn’t matter how many times the guy comes back from the dead, Dean never gets used to the sudden realization that he’s alive, that he’s okay. The relief he feels always knocks the breath from his lungs. Its joy, and confused grief, and something else he’s never let himself really examine before, but probably has to this time.

Cas is alive, and human, and loves him. It makes him feel small.

Jack and Sam rush at them, throw their arms around their bodies, and as Jack heals Cas, Dean realizes now it's over.

Chuck is gone, Jack is God, they won’t have to worry about the world ending again because the kid actually gives a shit, and everyone is back. With Cas back, with Jack fixing everything, everything is in order. It’s really over.

Except, Cas is blinking awake, and is looking up at him with a mixture or joy, exhaustion, and resignision, and Dean sees it on his face as all of Cas’s actions hit him — his mojo’s gone, probably for good now, he’s human, and now he has to deal with the fact that Dean knows how he feels. Cas sits up and tries to pull away, and Dean is grateful that Sammy and Jack backed off and are waiting outside because as small as he feels, Dean Winchester is not going to run from this like a coward.

Dean buried his face in Cas's neck, feeling Cas’s rapid pulse against his ear. Dean wonders, did Cas’s heart ever beat this rapidly when he had his Grace? Hesitantly, Cas wraps his arms around Dean as well. Dean feels him swallow, and Cas says, “Dean, I- I need you to know you don’t- I’m- I know how you feel, how you see me as a brother. I don’t need you to say it back-”

“I love you, too, okay?”

He says it into Cas’s neck, his voice small and knees starting to protest from how long he’s been sitting on the ground with a six foot tall, fairly built ex-Angel in his lap. He pulls Cas closer, thinks about every time he’s looked down on Cas’s corpse, every time he’s had to tell himself he would never see his friend again, every time he’s held Cas’s trenchcoat when he believed he would never see Cas again, every sacrifice Cas made for him, every defiant remark, every confused head tilt, every small smile, every awkward phone call, every long suffering look at a movie Dean was making him watch, every little thing that made Cas _ Cas _ , and  _ for fuck’s sake, why didn’t he let himself realize this sooner? _

Dean pulls back enough to look Cas in the eye, because Cas deserves more than some coward that won’t even look at his face, and if Cas thinks Dean is more than a broken hammer, Dean can at least try to be the guy Cas says he is.

Cas has tears in his eyes, but so does Dean. He takes a breath, and says, “You changed me, too. Of course-  _ of course _ I love you, Cas.”

_ Auditor _

Castiel fell in every way imaginable for Dean Winchester, loved him from the moment he touched his soul and raised him from perdition. He didn’t realize how deep that love ran, didn’t truly fall  _ in love, _ until later. Perhaps he didn’t even truly open himself up to the possibility until after he had confessed his doubts to Dean on a park bench, all those years ago.

He didn’t know it at the time, but that was not the first time he doubted. Naomi stole his previous memories of his doubting, questioning, defying. Again and again, she would judge him as broken and she would fix him, make him a good little hammer, by drilling into his brain as he pleaded for her to stop.

Dean had listened to Castiel’s doubts. Naomi and heaven had punished him for having them.

Chuck ignored him.

“Wow, gotta say, I did not think you would actually answer. I was just gonna, you know, leave a message. Becky never got around to unfriending me on FaceBook and I saw that you and Dean Winchester were getting married. I thought it was one of her roleplays, you know, but I checked around-”

“What do you want, Chuck?” Cas is gripping the phone tightly, the words, “self-hating Angel of Thursday” and "the one off the line with the crack in his chassis" ringing in his ear. He hid himself in a random room in the bunker, thankfully unoccupied by any of the guests. He doesn’t know where Claire and Jack are.

“Honestly? I was kinda hoping I would figure something out to say as I was saying it. That’s how you usually live your life, after all.”

Cas knows he should just hang up and block the number. Chuck has never cared about him in the past, bringing him back from the dead time and again to fill some role or as a punishment and ignoring him otherwise.

All that time he wasted trying to find his father, all that blood on his hands, the number of his siblings who have his blood on their hands and feel no remorse for it-

Chuck isn’t worth it. 

Cas tells himself he shouldn’t hope, he tries to recall Dean’s words on deadbeat fathers, he should just hang up the phone right now.

“Can’t say I’m thrilled, you know, but I’m not surprised. Maybe I should’ve pushed harder for you and Sam? Still a Winchester, but at least he’s not Dean-”

“I said, what do you want, Chuck?”

“ _Why_ Dean Winchester?” Chuck’s voice is agitated. “You falling for him isn’t unique to _you_ , but the level of shit you pulled for him- why is it that, out of every damn Angel I made, every variation of you across the multiverse, why did _you_ never do what you were told?”

“I don’t know!” 

Cas doesn’t why he was different — broken, unique, he doesn’t care while he is at this point. He knows he kept making mistake after mistake, was always different, was always a thorn in heaven’s side, but he honestly couldn’t guess why. 

Cas takes a breath and says, “What good will knowing do at this point, anyway? I’m not- I’m not an Angel anymore, and you have no power, so how would that information benefit either of us?”

Chuck groans, mutters something about needing a drink, and is quiet for a moment. Then, “Look, Cas-”

“Do not call me Cas.”

“Castiel, then. Look, I’m- I’m trying here, I guess. I’m human, you’re human, I’m your father, and you have been a very consistent bane for me these last few years. Just- I screwed up, I know, but hey, you screwed up your fair share of times-”

“If you are calling to inform me of every mistake I’ve made when I was without your guidance, save it,” Cas says, running a hand through his hair. He doesn’t know what he expected from Chuck — an apology for not being there when the Angels needed him, when Cas needed him, for trying to end the world because the creatures he installed with free will actually used it?

“Hey, you were exactly Dad of the Year with Claire Novak. All I’m asking for is, I dunno, a chance-” The phone is yanked from his hands, and he looks up to see Claire herself holding it, yelling something into the phone, “-don’t give a shit who you are, if you ever contact this number again I will personally shoot the phone out of your hands and shove the pieces so far up your-,” Jack beside her, pulling Cas to a nearby chair.

Sam’s head appears in the doorway a moment later. “We heard Claire’s, er, warnings down the hall. What’s happening here?”

Claire hangs up the phone with an angry jab, saying, “No clue, don’t care. Sounded like whoever it was was being an ass.”

“You okay, Cas?” Jack asks. “We didn’t mean to eavesdrop, I swear, you just ran out of the room fast and we were worried.”

Cas looks at them all, thinks about all the guests here to see them, Charlie, Jo, Bobby, Garth, Kaven, and many more, and finds he doesn’t doubt their sincerity. 

Cas let’s himself smile. “Yeah, Jack, I’m fine. Thank you, Claire, for handling that.”

Claire shrugs nonchalantly, though Cas catches her smile as well. “Whatever, it was nice to shout at someone that probably deserved it. Hey, Sam, since you’re here, you happen to have anything that can tame Cas’s hair?”

_ Coincide  _

Dean leans against the Impala, eyes trained on Cas as he chats with Charlie and Jo. Jack had mentioned that, while he probably shouldn’t be showing bias, he had decided that if any of their heavenly wedding guests wanted to stick around on earth for another few decades or so, to live out the lives that they should have had they not been cut short, he’d allow it. After all, anyone the Winchesters considered family were his by default in his eyes.

While Dean wouldn’t know for sure who stayed and who went back to the highly improved heaven (Jack had been going to Cas for advice on how to run heaven. If anyone could fix the place, it’d be them), he suspected Jo would definitely stick around, and Charlie had been hinting more than once about taking back her Moondoor crown. The others, he’s not too sure (Jess and Eileen had instantly become best friends, but he didn’t really know his brother's college girlfriend to make a judgement call. Mary, Bobby, and Ellen had made themselves comfortable in the bunker’s guestrooms, but they had also made themselves comfortable upstairs. Jimmy and Amelia sticking around would probably just be awkward, and Dean knew that resurrected parents weren’t all that they were cracked up to be. Claire and Mary had hit it off well enough that the Novaks would likely consult her first).

Sammy appeared by Dean’s side. “Not gonna help your husband with your luggage? Not a great start to your union, Dean.”

“Shut up, bitch.”

“Jerk.”

Jack was watching them with a smile, Robbie perched on his hip. Eileen and Claire were sharing stories about past hunts, Miracle wagging her tail between them. Kevin had joined Charlie, Jo, and Cas in their conversation. Dean Winchester had officially been a married man for almost twelve hours. 

“I’m proud of you,” Sam says.

“...Love you, too, Sammy.”

The brothers had already had a heart-to-heart that would set most chick-flicks to shame after Sammy had given a toast the night before (between that and Cas’s vows, Dean’s eyes were red rimmed in like half his wedding photos, but whatever. Happy crying was awesome.)

They just let themselves have a moment of peace together. When Cas finally made his way towards them, Sam gave them both a hug and wished them a happy honeymoon.

Cas put his hand on Dean’s shoulder and squeezed it.

“I didn’t think I’d ever feel this happy,” he said.

Dean covers Cas’s hand with his own.

“I think we should get used to it, Castiel Winchester.”

When they get in the car, one of Dean’s favorite songs by Kansas is playing. He turns it up, and he and Cas back out, waving at their family.

Dean finds himself looking forward to the rest of his life. 

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: Sunshine-Zenith


End file.
